Surely you’ve heard that the Bible has all of the answers, right? Have you ever wondered if the Bible has anything to say about how to be a good mom? (Particularly in young motherhood?)
Don’t you wish the Bible gave you EXACT INSTRUCTIONS on how to be a good mom and correctly influence your husband, kids, family, and community?
YES. The answer is yes, it does! Check out this quote from Titus Chapter 2:
“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” Titus 2:3-5
(Lol… Can I just say that it’s awesome that Paul tells the older women to stop being such boozers? 🍻 🍷 🍸 🍹)
Ok. Sorry about that. I’m serious again.
As a young mother, I LOVE (and am a little intimidated by) this passage. Let’s dive through these phrases together.
How to Be a Good Mom- the Bible’s Definition
Love Your Husband 💏
The first command that young women are supposed to obey is to love their husband. Your marriage is a testimony. Marriage is compared to Christ’s relationship to the church for a reason. People need to look at your marriage and be inspired to accept Christ.
Love Your Children 👶 👦 👧
Notice the order here? Husband first, then your children. It’s almost easier to love your children sometimes! But give that power to your children and they will understand more than you know.
I was co-sleeping with Cyrus up until he was 6 months old, partially because I enjoyed it and partially because I felt stuck! So I read several books about sleep-training. One of them was On Becoming Babywise, by Gary Ezzo. (Note: I do not endorse the Babywise method and did not end up using this method! Quote is still worthy of note.)
“There are certain aspects of the marriage relationship that children need to witness routinely. Children need to see an on-going love relationship that includes Mom and Dad enjoying each other as friends and not just parents. They also need to see their parents talking, laughing, working together and resolving conflicts with a mutual respect for each other. We cannot over-emphasize this point: the more parents demonstrate love for each other, the more they saturate their child’s senses with confidence of a loving, safe and secure world. That marriage relationship provides children with a layer of love and security that cannot be achieved through the direct parent-child relationship—even during the baby years. When you put all of these factors together, they add up to a healthy home environment.” Goodreads
Enough said, but in case you just skimmed, I’ll sum it up. Your children WANT you to love your husband more than you love them. They know that’s the primary relationship and that is comforting, not alienating!
Be Self-Controlled 🗣
Loving your husband and children might seem disconnected from this, but I suggest to you that loving your husband and loving your children during the hard times IS being self-controlled. Remember the Biblical definition of love? (Found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7) I’ll quote it here: Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way, is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Be Pure 🙏
Be pure in the way that you live. In what you say, in what you buy, in where you go, in how you spend your time on the internet. Put pure things into your brain and pure things will come out of your mouth. (and vice-versa applies as well!)
Be Busy at Home ⏰
To me, being busy at home means something different than being busy running errands and dropping off kids to a million different events and activities, (although power to the moms who have all of that energy!) being busy at home means homemaking, but perhaps more importantly, it means raising, loving and educating your children. If your children are in public or private school, that might mean educating them while they ARE home. There are some lessons that only you can teach them. The most important ones.
Here are two examples.
Teach your children scripture every day! 🚸
God says in Deuteronomy 11:18-20: “You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul…teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates,…”
Teach your children hymns and spiritual songs! 🎶
Ephesians 5:19: “speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord”
Be Kind 🙂
What a sweet reminder. Be kind, not only to your husband (whoops), or your kids (whoops) but also to your mother, mother-in-law, friends, enemies, strangers, and even those who have different political views than you do! The Bible says that young women should be kind and speak kindly about others.
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8
Be Subject To Your Husband 👰
Submission is certainly an uncomfortable topic for me. I kinda want to glide over it when I’m in the middle of my devotion. Not really something that I want to dwell on. (Because that’s my sin nature.) Marriage means submitting to EACH OTHER, but ultimately submitting to your husband.
Let’s read it straight from Scripture.
So that no one will malign the word of God. ✝
This is HOW TO WIN OVER people who don’t believe in God, or don’t otherwise believe in the Gospel! People are walking lie detectors. They can tell when things don’t add up between what you say and what you do. The Holy Spirit is able to help you live a life like this! (All you need to do is ask!)
I hope this was empowering and not intimidating. It is for me! Take one area at a time and bathe every day in prayer. You can improve your witness to the world by modifying these 7 areas of how to be a good mom, bit-by-bit!
How To Be A Good Mom- What about you?
Which of these areas is the most intimidating to you? Which is the most exciting? Do you know any good mothers?